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Having seen the movies and listened to all of the punch lines, the fact that somebody mentioned an Ugly Christmas Sweater contest for the end of year office Christmasparty is enough to make you want to strangle all of the festive spirit right out of the Human Resources department. Okay, maybe not strangle, maybe just very violently hug them, until they consult your department asking what you would actually like to do for the end of year function. But while we can only dream that someone actually wants to listen to your wishes, we can help you feel a little bit better and hopefully give you some ideas on how to deal with your ugly Christmas sweater this year, if you didn’t happen to find anything you actually – secretly – like!
Let’s start off on a simple road, let’s define what is actually considered to be an ugly Christmas sweaterand what is just an ordinary cardigan; an ugly Christmas sweater is any knitted item that has a design that is related to Christmas that can be deemed as unfashionable, terrible or just shouldn’t be worn by anybody with common sense in a million years. Hence, your family or your coworkers, depending on which is more sinister, will of course bring out these knitted creations and insist on taking as many photos together as possible. While your natural good looks may help to mitigate some of the ridiculousness captured within the photo, there is still the fact that you may have gotten the worst jersey out of the bunch.
Perhaps you will unwrap a Rudolf the Red Nosed Reindeer jumper with a giant red pompom for a nose, or maybe you got a jumper of a naughty Santa Clause – who simply needs some relaxation time after a hard year’s work. Whatever the case someone, probably your uncle or aunt, will see to it that there is a lot of laughter at your or somebody else’s expense and you should have a couple jokes of your own to whip out in your for your own protection or maybe even your cousins. You never know who’s going to be on the chopping block this year!
One of the easiest one liners and definitely something to throw in while unwrapping these bad boys goes as follows ‘All I want for Christmas is a really ugly sweater. Said no one ever.’ If that isn’t funny enough for you then hit them with this one ‘Sorry I assumed your outfit today meant you were attending an Ugly Christmas Sweater party.’ However, that is a little bit more insulting and not all grandmothers or parents for that matter would feel okay with one of their children insulting another member of the family. Something to ponder while you mentally prepare yourself for Christmas, when you are finished pondering what is waiting for you in the boxes under the tree and hoping that you got what you actually asked for instead of soap, then you’re in luck we wish you got what you actually want too.
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